The Redemption of Cain, Prologue

Hey everyone! This is a novel I'm working on (yes, I know. EVERYONE has one of those), and I was hoping that someone might read this and give me some constructive criticism! Hope you enjoy, if anyone reads this at all!


The Redemption of Cain
Prologue
And Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said
I have gotten a man from the Lord.
And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the
ground an offering to the Lord. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings
of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the Lord had respect unto Abel and
to his offering.
But unto Cain and his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
If thou doest well, shall thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.
Genesis 4:1-8

Everything was moving slow, too slow. Every heartbeat seemed to take an eternity to sound in his ears, though he knew his heart was pounding madly against his chest. The stalk of corn seemed to be swaying lazily to and fro, instead of moving with the breeze.
Something wasn’t right. Cain knew it in the instant after his brother hit the ground. Abel didn’t look right. His eyes were wide open, and his head was hanging from an odd angle off of his neck. Underneath him, a vast amount of darkly red blood was beginning to pool.
Cain felt his fingers go numb, and the hoe, covered in the same blood that now poured out of his brother, fell to the ground. A moment later, Cain himself followed.
“Abel?” He reached out and tentavily touched the other man’s shoulder. “Brother, please. I am sorry. I let my anger get the best of me. I had no right to strike you so. Please forgive me.”
Abel did not move. He did not blink, did not twitch, did not say a word. He continued to lay absolutely still.
Cain frowned. “I said I was sorry, brother. Can you not accept my apology? We must be going, else we shall be late with our sacrifice. I do not wish to anger our Lord.”
Still nothing. Though he still felt as though something were wrong, Cain could feel his anger taking over him once more. Did his brother think this was a joke? Had he not already offered his sincerest apologizes? Why would Abel not get up?
Angrily, Cain climbed to his feet. “Very well, brother. You may enjoy your little prank. But know that I will not cover for you when our Lord asks why you have not come with your offering.”
Muttering to himself about the audacity of his brother, Cain gathered up the basket that contained his sacrifice --- only the best crops from his latest harvest --- and began the walk to his family’s sacrificial alter.
Cain lived with his family and a handful of other people just on the outskirts of the Garden of Eden, the place where his parents had been created. Every night, they could see the glow from the flaming sword that the Lord had placed to guard the tree of life. From time to time, they could also catch glimpses of the Cherubim’s who guarded the perimeter of the Garden.
Cain had once asked his father why they had chosen to stay so close to the Garden. After all, it was a place that held great shame for them.
Adam had smiled sadly and placed a hand on his eldest son’s shoulder. “And that is precisely why we stay here. The Garden was Paradise, yet we threw it all away. When we look at it, we remember what we had --- and why we lost it. This is a constant reminder to us to live a better life and not make the same mistake again.”
It had taken Cain a long time to understand his parents’ reasoning. And, as he grew older, he found himself beginning to resent them for their decision to stay so close to the source of their exile. It may serve as a reminder to them, but to Cain, it was something that would always be denied to him because of actions his parents took many years ago.
However, he cold not bring himself to complain about the location, either. The soil was wonderful, and his crops grew strong and large. Every day, he lovingly worked in his field, pouring all of his energy and devotion into his crops. At each harvest, he would choose the biggest and best of his crops to use in the sacrifice. The rest went to feed the people. No one ever went hungry.
It was because of these things that Cain had been stunned when the Lord had shown disfavor on Cain’s sacrifice, but praised Abel for his. Was he not all-seeing? Could he not see how hard Cain worked in his fields, while Abel simply slept in the meadow while his sheep grazed? Could he not tell that Cain brought his very best, while Abel simply brought whatever he had leftover?
These were questions that Cain had been asking his brother only a few short minutes ago.
“Pray tell, brother, why you think our Lord looked upon my sacrifice with disfavor? He has never done so before.”
Abel shrugged, lying on the ground in between the rows of carefully tended corn, staring up into the sky. “I do not pretend to know the thoughts of our Lord. His reasons are his own.”
“Yes, but there must be something you did to attract such praise from him. Did you offer a specially-reared sheep?”
“No.”
“Was it fed with a special grain? Had it produced the most wool? Perhaps it was the strongest of your flock?”
But Abel was shaking his head. “I simply picked one of the sheep that was too young to slaughter for meat.”
Cain stopped what he was doing, staring at his brother in disbelief. “You mean, you offered our Lord a leftover as a sacrifice?”
“Yes, I suppose so. And there’s no reason to sound so upset about it. He obviously thought it was better than what you considered to be your best!”
That’s when Cain had swung the hoe at him. He hadn’t meant to, not really. He had let out an angry cry and swung blindly, striking his brother in the throat.
And now he was just lying there, acting as though he had nothing to do except gaze into the sky all day.
Well, Cain would show him this time. He had made sure to pick the absolute best of his crops. And now, Abel wasn’t even going to bring his sacrifice! There was no way the Lord could be displeased with him this time.
The sacrificial alter was just a few miles east of Cain’s fields. He was there within an hour and a half. Once he had reached it, Cain turned and looked back, expecting to see his younger brother to come running up behind him, breathless, a bleating sheep struggling to free itself from his grasp.
There was nothing.
Cain couldn’t hold back a triumphant smile. Now everyone would see Abel for the lazy boy that he was. Now everyone would see that Cain was the better son!
Still wearing his smile, Cain placed his basket of tribute on the alter and knelt on the ground in front of it, touching his forehead to the ground. “Oh Lord Almighty,” he called out in a loud, confident voice. “I am Cain, son of Adam, who was cast out of the Garden of Eden after disobeying your command. I come now to offer you tribute, in order to earn your forgiveness for this sin. I beg you, accept this humble gift.”
Cain kept his head on the ground. He knew he couldn’t look up. His father had told him since the day he had begun making sacrifice that he was not to look up unless instructed to. But he could see the bright light that suddenly surrounded him, and feel the warmth that washed over him. Around him, everything went absolutely still.
There was a pause. Then … “Cain.” It wasn’t so much a voice in his ears as it was a presence in his head.
His heartbeat sped up. “I am here, Lord! I have brought the sacrifice you have demanded!”
There was another pause. “Cain. Where is Abel, your brother?”
His heart, racing with joy and anticipation, came to a crashing halt. Abel? I am here with my sacrifice, on time, and he’s asking about Abel?
“I know not where Abel is, my Lord,” he replied, his voice coming out more bitter than he intended. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Again, that pause. This time, when the voice sounded in his head, it was loud and angry. “What have you done?” the voice demanded. “The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to me from the earth.”
Cain was physically knocked down, flattened against the ground. The light became brighter, and the warmth became uncomfortably hot. “I am sorry, my Lord!” he cried out hoarsely, clinching his eyes shut tightly. “I struck my brother out of anger. I left him lying in my crop field. I do not know why he has not joined us yet.”
The light grew brighter and brighter, pressing against Cain’s eyelids. It grew warmer and warmer, until he felt as though his skin was going to melt off.
Just as he was about to scream, the light and the heat suddenly vanished. Cain lay there on the ground, panting, wondering if he was alone, and confused by what had just happened.
“Cain”. The voice was suddenly there again, causing Cain to jump in fright and sending him scrambling back to his kneeling position. The voice was back to a soft tone, but, this time, it was filled with a deep sadness. “You have slain your brother.”.
Slain? As in ‘kill’? Like what we do to the animals? That’s impossible. I can’t do that to a human. We can’t die! “I’m sorry, my Lord. I do not understand.”
“Your brother’s body has returned to the earth, his spirit returned to me. He will no longer walk among you. He has been lost to the world.”
That same feeling of wrongness that Cain had experienced earlier was back, and an icy cold gripped his heart. Lost to the world. Cain wasn’t sure what that meant, but he knew it was bad.
The voice was back. Still filled with sadness, it had changed to a firm, authoritive tone. The way Adam’s voice sounded when he scolded his son’s for their childish mischief.
“Cain. You are now cursed from the earth that has opened her mouth to receive the blood of your brother, which you have spilled. When you till the ground, it shall not henceforth yield to you her bounty. A fugitive and a vagabond you shall forever be.”
“No!” He didn’t care about the consequences. Not anymore. Cain opened his eyes and pushed himself to his feet. He was immediately running, flying over the distance back to his field.
When he came into view of the field, he let out a gut-wrenching scream, his feet picking up speed.
His crops, the lush, green field that he had left only a few hours ago, was gone. The corn stalks were withered. The cabbage was rotten and lying on the ground. All that food for his family… gone.
In the middle lay Abel, right where Cain had left him.
Cain fell to his knees by his brother. The ground, once rich soil, had now turned to sand, a deep red color that matched the hue of the blood that had spilled onto it.
Ignoring the blood, Cain gathered his brother’s body into his arms. Abel’s head, held on by little more than a skin flap, flopped grotesquely. “Abel? Abel, please.” The tears were beginning to fall. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Abel!”
Nothing. His brother was stiff, cold. And Cain knew it was true: his brother was gone, and it was his fault.
He lifted his head to the sky and let out a primal scream that left his throat raw.
“Oh, Lord,” he managed to whisper. “My punishment is greater than I can bear.”
Abel’s body clutched tightly against him, Cain wept for all that he had lost.
Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth:
and from thy face shall I be hid, and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond
in the earth, and it shall come to pass, that everyone that findeth me shall
slay me.
And the Lord said unto him, Therefore whoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall
be taken on him sevenfold. And the Lord set a mark on Cain, lest any find him
should kill him.
And Cain went out from the presence of the Lord, and dwelt in the land of Nod, east of
Eden.
Genesis 4: 14-16

A Little Health Care Ditty

I know it’s been quite some time since I last posted anything. And there have been quite a few things that have happened that I should have blogged about. But I just saw something on TV that demanded I send up a public outcry.
The thing in question was a commercial with a Canadian citizen talking about how she would have died from a brain tumor if she had stayed in Canada. Instead, she came to the US and was cured! So she is encouraging US citizens to not allow government health care.
I have a few problems with this. The first one is that this woman did NOT sound Canadian. Now, I know there are a ton of reasons for this. But seriously. She sounded like she was from New Jersey, not Nova Scotia. That makes it a little unbelievable.
My biggest beef is this: one of the options that Obama has proposed with his health care plan is to have a government-based health care plan to give competition to private insurance companies, not make everybody switch to a government-based health care plan. And I think this is a wonderful middle-ground, especially for people like me. My husband’s job does not offer health insurance of any kind. My job does, but I cannot afford it. Most private insurance companies won’t touch me because I have diabetes, one of those evil “pre-existing conditions” insurance companies love so much.
If this middle-ground plan is chosen, I’ll be able to get health insurance. Will it be the best health insurance? No. But I’ll be able to go to the doctor. I won’t panic every time I get sick and pray as hard as I can that it’s nothing serious because I know I can’t afford to go to the doctor. And then, one day, when I have a REAL job and can afford REAL health insurance, I’ll get it.
This is the way it works: You people who already have health insurance, keep it. No one is saying you have to get the crappy, free health care. But for the millions of us who are uninsured, at least we’ll have a little peace of mind. And a chance to go to the doctor for the first time in over two years.