Yes, folks. BioWare has made their first blog concering Mass Effect 2, which is slated for a December 31 release. Am I happy? Hardly. Estatic is more like it. I know! I'm just such a well-rounded person. Books, knitting, video games... there is no rhyme or reason to my life.
Adding to my estatic happiness is the fact that Mass Effect 2 will be shown at this year's E3. SQUEE!!
For those of you who have never had the honor of playing the first Mass Effect... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Go buy (or borrow, just not steal. I don't endore stealing) an XBOX 360 and the first ME, lock yourself in your home, and play. You'll see what all the fuss is about within the first ten minutes of the game. Increadible customization, stunning graphics, one of the best storylines I've ever seen in a game... It's just amazing. It's an RPG, it's a shooter, it's everything anyone could ever want in a game.
Probably one of my favorite things about the game is the customization I mentioned above. At the ver beginning, you can customize everything about your character, including your own personal history. Throught the game, people will come and talk to you about whichever history you chose for yourself. For example, I was the orphan. So, later in the game, a man approached me who was part of the same gang my character ran with when she was younger. I think that was just increadible.
Another awesome thing is that, just like in Fable (but way better!) every choice you make has a consequence. And, just a hint, be careful about how you speak to certain people. Let's just say that I did enjoy baiting Kaidan and then sharing that special moment. *wink wink* Which is somethign I hope they carry over into the next game.
But enough of my gushing. to check out the blog here: http://blogs.ign.com/BW_MassEffect/2009/04/30/119240/
Oh, I can't wait for this!!!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Why Me?
Ah, yes. The age old question. There has never been a person to walk this earth who hasn't uttered this question at one point in time during his or her exsistance. Most of us ask this quite often. We've never figured out the answer, and probably never will. But tht doesn't stop us from asking.
I've been asking this question quite a bit in the last year and a half, but today it just seemed to really hit home. It's no longer a question. It's a demand.
I'm sure you've all heard the whole adage of "one step forward equals two steps back". In my case, it reads more like "one step forward equals twenty steps back". Perhaps this might sound a bit angsty, but it's the way I absolutely feel right now.
Here's the breakdown of the last year or so: I graduate from college after four and a half years, ready to take the world by storm as the best music writer in history. I'm more than willing to start at the bottom and work my way up. I want to be a success story. I want my biography to fly off the shelves in a few years. But this proved to be problamatic. No one seemed to want to hire me, despite my awards andexcellent refrence letters. I was dumbfounded. I had done everything right. I should have employers knocking down my door!
Then i watched the news and realized the horriable truth: Tribune Corp. was filing for bankruptcy. Newspapers were having to lay people off. And if you wanted to get hired on, you had to a) know someone high up, or b) fight with a ton of other people applying for the same job and pray to whatever God will listen that you are more qualified than they are. And, as a fresh-faced college graduate, there was no way in hell I could hold my own.
I swalloed my pride and took a job in retail. After all, a paycheck was a paycheck. And, after a few months, I was moved up to a manager position. Things were looking up! Even when my husband lost a shift at work and got bumped down to part time I never batted an eye. We were going to be fine.
Then my District manager called me in. (Warning! Anyone who has read my previous logs will find this oddly familier.) The company was in a tight bind. They needed to cut back. Therefore, my position was being eliminated. I was still hired, but my pay and hours were cut.
That stung. But I held firm. There were teaching positions open in my hometown. I was marektable, thanks to the new Operation Diploma. I was signed up to take me PRAXIS in June. I could find a teaching position, no problem.
Then I turned on the news, again. 4,000 teachers were losing their jobs in Los Angeles. At work, a local teacher told me all first year teachers hadn't been hired back at one local school. And on the news last night, Putnam County, TN is in such bad shape that, after cutting a numerous amount of teaching positions, they still might not be able to open this fall. Getting a teaching a job was looking a lost less certain.
Now, I am not a religious person. But I do believe in karma, and that there is a reason for everything. I am not a bad person. I have done great things with my life thus far. I am going to be rewarded for all of my hard work. And whatever that is, I'm just going to have to keep suffering for awhile before I get to it.
But I still can't help but ask: Why me?
I've been asking this question quite a bit in the last year and a half, but today it just seemed to really hit home. It's no longer a question. It's a demand.
I'm sure you've all heard the whole adage of "one step forward equals two steps back". In my case, it reads more like "one step forward equals twenty steps back". Perhaps this might sound a bit angsty, but it's the way I absolutely feel right now.
Here's the breakdown of the last year or so: I graduate from college after four and a half years, ready to take the world by storm as the best music writer in history. I'm more than willing to start at the bottom and work my way up. I want to be a success story. I want my biography to fly off the shelves in a few years. But this proved to be problamatic. No one seemed to want to hire me, despite my awards andexcellent refrence letters. I was dumbfounded. I had done everything right. I should have employers knocking down my door!
Then i watched the news and realized the horriable truth: Tribune Corp. was filing for bankruptcy. Newspapers were having to lay people off. And if you wanted to get hired on, you had to a) know someone high up, or b) fight with a ton of other people applying for the same job and pray to whatever God will listen that you are more qualified than they are. And, as a fresh-faced college graduate, there was no way in hell I could hold my own.
I swalloed my pride and took a job in retail. After all, a paycheck was a paycheck. And, after a few months, I was moved up to a manager position. Things were looking up! Even when my husband lost a shift at work and got bumped down to part time I never batted an eye. We were going to be fine.
Then my District manager called me in. (Warning! Anyone who has read my previous logs will find this oddly familier.) The company was in a tight bind. They needed to cut back. Therefore, my position was being eliminated. I was still hired, but my pay and hours were cut.
That stung. But I held firm. There were teaching positions open in my hometown. I was marektable, thanks to the new Operation Diploma. I was signed up to take me PRAXIS in June. I could find a teaching position, no problem.
Then I turned on the news, again. 4,000 teachers were losing their jobs in Los Angeles. At work, a local teacher told me all first year teachers hadn't been hired back at one local school. And on the news last night, Putnam County, TN is in such bad shape that, after cutting a numerous amount of teaching positions, they still might not be able to open this fall. Getting a teaching a job was looking a lost less certain.
Now, I am not a religious person. But I do believe in karma, and that there is a reason for everything. I am not a bad person. I have done great things with my life thus far. I am going to be rewarded for all of my hard work. And whatever that is, I'm just going to have to keep suffering for awhile before I get to it.
But I still can't help but ask: Why me?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Book Review: Columbine
I'm sure everyone has had a book at one point in time that you just pick up because this little voice in the back of your head says 'Hey! This looks kinda interesting!' And I'm sure that 9 times out of ten it turns out to be a really good book. In my case, the book in question turned out to be something way different.
It's turning out to be phenomonal.
The book, simply titled 'Columbine', is an exploratory, ten-year-in-the-making story told by Dave Cullen, one of the first journalists to invade Littleton, Colorado on April 20, 1999. Throughout the years, he has stayed in touch with the families of the victims, the survivors, the police, and many others who were involved and affected by the shooting. What he has recorded is amazing: insight into the motives of the killers (Eric was a classic psycopath; Dylan was a depressive who had talked of suicide for years), truths behind myths that still resound to this day (Cassie Bernell wasn't the martyr people have made her out to be. Another girl was asked if she believed in God. She said yes. Dylan let her live. Eric ducked under the touble where Cassie was, said "Peekaboo" and shot her before she could say a word), and how the aftermath has played out over the years.
What drew me to this book was the fact that it was written by a journalist, an award-winning one at that. And as soon as you open the book and read his prologue --- he keeps himself out of the story, refering to the press in third person --- it automatically makes you feel like this guy is serious. You know that this is truth he is sharing.
Also, I remember quite vividly Columbine. I was 14, still in 8th grade. And I remember how trench coats were no longer allowed at school. The outside doors had to remained locked at all times. And young men who had ever cuased so much as a peep of trouble at school were yanked aside and questioned for hours day in and day out. To see how this one event, many of it a myth (Eric and Dylan wore dusters, not trench coats, and were in no way associated with the Trench Coat Mafia) affected a small town hundreds of miles away is increadible.
Last but not least is Cullen's delievery. This book reads as well as any Dan Brown novel. I have found it nearly impossiable to put down. And when he details the actual shooting, step by step, I was so engrossed I was nearly late for work. Not only that, but I couldn't help but cry. The emotions were so raw, so real. It's just... amazing.
I highly recommend this book for anyone. The writing style really keeps this book from reading like a boring nonfiction, play-by-play true crime book. Just seeing a lot of the first hand accounts from victims and families of victims really drives home the reality of this tragedy, despite the fact that you may have been thousands of miles away. And finally learning the truth about what happened that day is what keeps you glued page after page.
It's turning out to be phenomonal.
The book, simply titled 'Columbine', is an exploratory, ten-year-in-the-making story told by Dave Cullen, one of the first journalists to invade Littleton, Colorado on April 20, 1999. Throughout the years, he has stayed in touch with the families of the victims, the survivors, the police, and many others who were involved and affected by the shooting. What he has recorded is amazing: insight into the motives of the killers (Eric was a classic psycopath; Dylan was a depressive who had talked of suicide for years), truths behind myths that still resound to this day (Cassie Bernell wasn't the martyr people have made her out to be. Another girl was asked if she believed in God. She said yes. Dylan let her live. Eric ducked under the touble where Cassie was, said "Peekaboo" and shot her before she could say a word), and how the aftermath has played out over the years.
What drew me to this book was the fact that it was written by a journalist, an award-winning one at that. And as soon as you open the book and read his prologue --- he keeps himself out of the story, refering to the press in third person --- it automatically makes you feel like this guy is serious. You know that this is truth he is sharing.
Also, I remember quite vividly Columbine. I was 14, still in 8th grade. And I remember how trench coats were no longer allowed at school. The outside doors had to remained locked at all times. And young men who had ever cuased so much as a peep of trouble at school were yanked aside and questioned for hours day in and day out. To see how this one event, many of it a myth (Eric and Dylan wore dusters, not trench coats, and were in no way associated with the Trench Coat Mafia) affected a small town hundreds of miles away is increadible.
Last but not least is Cullen's delievery. This book reads as well as any Dan Brown novel. I have found it nearly impossiable to put down. And when he details the actual shooting, step by step, I was so engrossed I was nearly late for work. Not only that, but I couldn't help but cry. The emotions were so raw, so real. It's just... amazing.
I highly recommend this book for anyone. The writing style really keeps this book from reading like a boring nonfiction, play-by-play true crime book. Just seeing a lot of the first hand accounts from victims and families of victims really drives home the reality of this tragedy, despite the fact that you may have been thousands of miles away. And finally learning the truth about what happened that day is what keeps you glued page after page.
Friday, April 10, 2009
This is SOOOO Not What Makes It Worth It
So when I graduated college, my whole life lay open before me. I was going to have a career, a GOOD one. Money wasn't a big factor. I wanted enough to be comfortable, sure, but what really drove me was finding a career I was passionate about. A career that felt more like fun than work. I knew it might take some time, but I was willing to wait.
That was in December of 2007. It is now April 10, 2009. And as I sit here, just three days away from my 24th birthday, the cruel hand of Fate has dealt me yet another blow in my qust to be a productive person instead of the failure that has always been my biggest fear.
In July of 2008 I was hired at a brand spankin' new Books-A-Million in the very chic town of Spring Hill, TN. Sure it wasn't the glamourus job I had envisoned for myself, but it was the first job that I could actually get. And hey, it was a bookstore. So it was sort of like using my English degree, right?
I'll admit I've had my ups and downs at this store. And I know I've caused more than a few headaches myself. But I have tried to do my job to the best of my ability. In December of 2008, it seemed that dilligence had paid off. Our Cafe Manager was leaving due to health complications and I was approached to be her replacement. Again, not quite what I wanted --- I wanted to talk to people about books rather than coffee --- but it meant that I was a MANAGER!! And the pay wasn't too bad either.
And so it has been for the last few months. Again, I've had the days where I've gone home and cried and wailed about how much I hated my job and how deamining it was for someone like me, with a double-degree from a well-respected house of education to be yelled at beacuse I couldn't mop a floor right. Truth be told, I was just happy to have a job. And while I did take a peek here and there at other places of employment, I was content to stay there until I could figure out what direction I wanted my life to head in next.
And then it all came crashing down around my head.
The District Manager of my store called me in yesterday, and when he began with the words "This is the type of conversation that is difficult to have" my heart stopped. All I could think was "No, I CAN'T be getting laid off! My husband's hours just got cut at his work. We NEED the money! And besides, I do more work than certain other individuals in this place. Why aren't THEY getting laid off?"
Turns out, I wasn't getting sacked. (Whew!) But the news was almost as bad. Here I will try to quote verbatim what I was told:
"You know that times are tough. It's affecting everyone. We thought we were immune because we've been doing so well. Turns out we're not. And due to that we are having to cut the position of Cafe Manager in all low-volume stores. You will now become a Cafe Specialist instead, have your hours cut and your pay cut by .70, plus lose your five hours of overtime a week."
He went on to say that he wished it hadn't come to this, that the company had spent two weeks negototing this and that he wished he hadn't hired a new store Co-Manager so that I could have it. Also, there was a possiability of a manager position open at a nearby store if I were interested.
Of course, I didn't pay much attention to that. All I could think was, now what?
So here I sit in this nearly abandoned laundry mat, listen to the new garble in the background (we had some horriable tornados today. No damage in Columbia, thank God. Although we did have some rotation in Spring Hill today, which was kinda cool!) while I scroll through pages and pages of Tennessee schools, praying that one of them while hire me, even after I went back to my own home town, that needs teachers like the desert needs rain, and was basically shoved out the door.
Sorry about this long rant. The idea that I am about to turn 24 with absolutely nothing to show for it has kinda been weighing heavily on me this last few days. So I decided to rant. Hopefully, this will get it out of my system and I can get ready to boogie down on my b-day!
That was in December of 2007. It is now April 10, 2009. And as I sit here, just three days away from my 24th birthday, the cruel hand of Fate has dealt me yet another blow in my qust to be a productive person instead of the failure that has always been my biggest fear.
In July of 2008 I was hired at a brand spankin' new Books-A-Million in the very chic town of Spring Hill, TN. Sure it wasn't the glamourus job I had envisoned for myself, but it was the first job that I could actually get. And hey, it was a bookstore. So it was sort of like using my English degree, right?
I'll admit I've had my ups and downs at this store. And I know I've caused more than a few headaches myself. But I have tried to do my job to the best of my ability. In December of 2008, it seemed that dilligence had paid off. Our Cafe Manager was leaving due to health complications and I was approached to be her replacement. Again, not quite what I wanted --- I wanted to talk to people about books rather than coffee --- but it meant that I was a MANAGER!! And the pay wasn't too bad either.
And so it has been for the last few months. Again, I've had the days where I've gone home and cried and wailed about how much I hated my job and how deamining it was for someone like me, with a double-degree from a well-respected house of education to be yelled at beacuse I couldn't mop a floor right. Truth be told, I was just happy to have a job. And while I did take a peek here and there at other places of employment, I was content to stay there until I could figure out what direction I wanted my life to head in next.
And then it all came crashing down around my head.
The District Manager of my store called me in yesterday, and when he began with the words "This is the type of conversation that is difficult to have" my heart stopped. All I could think was "No, I CAN'T be getting laid off! My husband's hours just got cut at his work. We NEED the money! And besides, I do more work than certain other individuals in this place. Why aren't THEY getting laid off?"
Turns out, I wasn't getting sacked. (Whew!) But the news was almost as bad. Here I will try to quote verbatim what I was told:
"You know that times are tough. It's affecting everyone. We thought we were immune because we've been doing so well. Turns out we're not. And due to that we are having to cut the position of Cafe Manager in all low-volume stores. You will now become a Cafe Specialist instead, have your hours cut and your pay cut by .70, plus lose your five hours of overtime a week."
He went on to say that he wished it hadn't come to this, that the company had spent two weeks negototing this and that he wished he hadn't hired a new store Co-Manager so that I could have it. Also, there was a possiability of a manager position open at a nearby store if I were interested.
Of course, I didn't pay much attention to that. All I could think was, now what?
So here I sit in this nearly abandoned laundry mat, listen to the new garble in the background (we had some horriable tornados today. No damage in Columbia, thank God. Although we did have some rotation in Spring Hill today, which was kinda cool!) while I scroll through pages and pages of Tennessee schools, praying that one of them while hire me, even after I went back to my own home town, that needs teachers like the desert needs rain, and was basically shoved out the door.
Sorry about this long rant. The idea that I am about to turn 24 with absolutely nothing to show for it has kinda been weighing heavily on me this last few days. So I decided to rant. Hopefully, this will get it out of my system and I can get ready to boogie down on my b-day!
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