This is SOOOO Not What Makes It Worth It

So when I graduated college, my whole life lay open before me. I was going to have a career, a GOOD one. Money wasn't a big factor. I wanted enough to be comfortable, sure, but what really drove me was finding a career I was passionate about. A career that felt more like fun than work. I knew it might take some time, but I was willing to wait.
That was in December of 2007. It is now April 10, 2009. And as I sit here, just three days away from my 24th birthday, the cruel hand of Fate has dealt me yet another blow in my qust to be a productive person instead of the failure that has always been my biggest fear.
In July of 2008 I was hired at a brand spankin' new Books-A-Million in the very chic town of Spring Hill, TN. Sure it wasn't the glamourus job I had envisoned for myself, but it was the first job that I could actually get. And hey, it was a bookstore. So it was sort of like using my English degree, right?
I'll admit I've had my ups and downs at this store. And I know I've caused more than a few headaches myself. But I have tried to do my job to the best of my ability. In December of 2008, it seemed that dilligence had paid off. Our Cafe Manager was leaving due to health complications and I was approached to be her replacement. Again, not quite what I wanted --- I wanted to talk to people about books rather than coffee --- but it meant that I was a MANAGER!! And the pay wasn't too bad either.
And so it has been for the last few months. Again, I've had the days where I've gone home and cried and wailed about how much I hated my job and how deamining it was for someone like me, with a double-degree from a well-respected house of education to be yelled at beacuse I couldn't mop a floor right. Truth be told, I was just happy to have a job. And while I did take a peek here and there at other places of employment, I was content to stay there until I could figure out what direction I wanted my life to head in next.
And then it all came crashing down around my head.
The District Manager of my store called me in yesterday, and when he began with the words "This is the type of conversation that is difficult to have" my heart stopped. All I could think was "No, I CAN'T be getting laid off! My husband's hours just got cut at his work. We NEED the money! And besides, I do more work than certain other individuals in this place. Why aren't THEY getting laid off?"
Turns out, I wasn't getting sacked. (Whew!) But the news was almost as bad. Here I will try to quote verbatim what I was told:
"You know that times are tough. It's affecting everyone. We thought we were immune because we've been doing so well. Turns out we're not. And due to that we are having to cut the position of Cafe Manager in all low-volume stores. You will now become a Cafe Specialist instead, have your hours cut and your pay cut by .70, plus lose your five hours of overtime a week."
He went on to say that he wished it hadn't come to this, that the company had spent two weeks negototing this and that he wished he hadn't hired a new store Co-Manager so that I could have it. Also, there was a possiability of a manager position open at a nearby store if I were interested.
Of course, I didn't pay much attention to that. All I could think was, now what?
So here I sit in this nearly abandoned laundry mat, listen to the new garble in the background (we had some horriable tornados today. No damage in Columbia, thank God. Although we did have some rotation in Spring Hill today, which was kinda cool!) while I scroll through pages and pages of Tennessee schools, praying that one of them while hire me, even after I went back to my own home town, that needs teachers like the desert needs rain, and was basically shoved out the door.
Sorry about this long rant. The idea that I am about to turn 24 with absolutely nothing to show for it has kinda been weighing heavily on me this last few days. So I decided to rant. Hopefully, this will get it out of my system and I can get ready to boogie down on my b-day!