Why Me?

Ah, yes. The age old question. There has never been a person to walk this earth who hasn't uttered this question at one point in time during his or her exsistance. Most of us ask this quite often. We've never figured out the answer, and probably never will. But tht doesn't stop us from asking.
I've been asking this question quite a bit in the last year and a half, but today it just seemed to really hit home. It's no longer a question. It's a demand.
I'm sure you've all heard the whole adage of "one step forward equals two steps back". In my case, it reads more like "one step forward equals twenty steps back". Perhaps this might sound a bit angsty, but it's the way I absolutely feel right now.
Here's the breakdown of the last year or so: I graduate from college after four and a half years, ready to take the world by storm as the best music writer in history. I'm more than willing to start at the bottom and work my way up. I want to be a success story. I want my biography to fly off the shelves in a few years. But this proved to be problamatic. No one seemed to want to hire me, despite my awards andexcellent refrence letters. I was dumbfounded. I had done everything right. I should have employers knocking down my door!
Then i watched the news and realized the horriable truth: Tribune Corp. was filing for bankruptcy. Newspapers were having to lay people off. And if you wanted to get hired on, you had to a) know someone high up, or b) fight with a ton of other people applying for the same job and pray to whatever God will listen that you are more qualified than they are. And, as a fresh-faced college graduate, there was no way in hell I could hold my own.
I swalloed my pride and took a job in retail. After all, a paycheck was a paycheck. And, after a few months, I was moved up to a manager position. Things were looking up! Even when my husband lost a shift at work and got bumped down to part time I never batted an eye. We were going to be fine.
Then my District manager called me in. (Warning! Anyone who has read my previous logs will find this oddly familier.) The company was in a tight bind. They needed to cut back. Therefore, my position was being eliminated. I was still hired, but my pay and hours were cut.
That stung. But I held firm. There were teaching positions open in my hometown. I was marektable, thanks to the new Operation Diploma. I was signed up to take me PRAXIS in June. I could find a teaching position, no problem.
Then I turned on the news, again. 4,000 teachers were losing their jobs in Los Angeles. At work, a local teacher told me all first year teachers hadn't been hired back at one local school. And on the news last night, Putnam County, TN is in such bad shape that, after cutting a numerous amount of teaching positions, they still might not be able to open this fall. Getting a teaching a job was looking a lost less certain.
Now, I am not a religious person. But I do believe in karma, and that there is a reason for everything. I am not a bad person. I have done great things with my life thus far. I am going to be rewarded for all of my hard work. And whatever that is, I'm just going to have to keep suffering for awhile before I get to it.
But I still can't help but ask: Why me?